No, I Don't Have Kids
It can be really hard when you're over 30 years old and half of your friends have kids, and you're with the other half who still act like kids. Okay, so maybe not kids, but definitely living life with some obvious less responsibility, like being responsible for another life.
When you get into your upper 20s and 30s it seems like almost everyone is running around with kids or at least that's what my newsfeed on Facebook leads me to believe. Which, before I go any further, let me just say that I LOVE kids, especially since the arrival of my wonderful niece and nephew, and would one day love to have a family that includes children of my own, but right now that's just not an option.
I think where I start to feel weird, is when people around me start looking at me like I'M weird or like there is something wrong with me because I don't have children yet. So the big questions becomes, how to do you navigate this when everyone around you is popping out kids, and you either can't have them for whatever reason or don't want them.
Even though the unfair pressure is mostly put on women, the interesting thing is that the statistics are on my side as far as NOT being the weirdo. First of all, some interesting statics suggest that people are having children less in the teens and 20s, and more folks are having children in their 30s and 40s. When it comes to same-sex couples and adoption specifically, the average age according to one statistic is 42.
There is a lot of things that can explain this. The terrible state of the economy, longer life expectancy, more drive for other things, or guess what, some people just don't want kids, and thats cool too. Where I think we get into trouble is when we start comparing ourselves to others and shaming others for their choices, whatever they may be.
Another interesting thing I've encountered is that I've talked with people on both sides of the fence that weirdly envy the others "life". At the end of the day it's up to each individual to decide what is right for them, not society and not someone else. Also realizing that your family is what you make it and isn't validated by other's perception of it.
The moral of the story is, don't feel bad about whatever choices you've made regarding family! There is no time or age that is best, and it's not a women's job to reproduce. Everything is (or should be) a choice and so don't get in your own head and let others decide what is right for you, YOU decide.
What has your experience been? share in the comments section below.
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photo: Marc Reyes